STRESSSSS

So much stress as of late!
-almost lost my job, im pretty sure I still might at the end of the month
-things with the girl i was falling for, fell through (not her fault)
-broke
-either extremely emotional, or this feeling of nothingness that i cannot describe
-wanting to leave San Jose, but at the same time not wanting to give up on this place
-being very, very lonely

Somethings like the girl trouble I've been dealing with my entire life, Im pretty helpless when it comes to that kinda thing. head over heels seconds after meeting someone, then ignoring real problems because I'm blinded by these fairytale visions of our future relationship. Typically i come to my senses, which took a long time to figure out how to do, but its usually after months of agony because I always fall for unavailable girls, or girls that dont treat me right, no respect, even though I go out of my way constantly for them. All of this and more basically, creating a vortex of shit that just doesn't help my current situation.

The rest of the shit, just forces outside of my control, just pulling and pushing me in different directions on a daily basis.

Im staying positive though, just gotta wait it out, save that scrill, and figure out where my next pensive step will be placed.

ah gad. 40oz. tonight.